Ranking All of the "Friday the 13th" Films!

The "Friday the 13th" series is one of my all time favorite Horror franchises.  This series created some of the very staples and beloved cliches of all modern Slasher flicks. The first "Friday the 13th" was released in 1980.  It was a mere copycat of Halloween (1978), except it upped the kills, added way more gore, and gave us fun loving horny camp counselors.

Each entry in the franchise is significantly different from the next.  There are many good ones, and some not so much.  Here is my ranking of all 12 films from GRUESOMELY GREAT to DREADFULLY DISAPPOINTING.

1. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

"Jason Lives" is one of the best "Friday" films for four main reasons. 1) The almost self aware meta humor of Slasher movies.  Even though "Scream" came out almost a decade after this film, traces of meta are smartly dashed through the entire film.  2) We get introduced to the "Zombie Jason" for the first time, making him an almost impossible stopping force. 3) The characters work really well. In particular, the sassiness of Final Girl Megan (played by Jennifer Cooke) makes her one of the most likable characters of the entire franchise. 4) The atmosphere; having a camp backdrop is always fun to see.  I love it when we see irresponsible camp counselors going off to have sex, and then Jason shows up.

Bonus: Having the song "He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)" performed by Alice Cooper in the film, and much of the sex, blood, and violence we love in a Slasher flick.

2. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

This is one of those rare cases where the direct sequel is actually just a little bit better than the original.  For one, this is the first "Friday" to feature Jason. I love the look of Jason in this film, and it's not how people remember him. He wears a bag mask and overalls, giving him this bizarre hillbilly look.  All of the camp counselors are great and have their own individual quirks to them, but Ginny, The Final Girl (played by Amy Steel) is the most standout character in Part 2.  She's tough, resourceful, and intelligent.  When you think of a Retro Slasher movie, your immediately going to think of this flick. 

3. Friday the 13th (1980)

The original that started it all.  This one is just classic.  It just took the setup for Halloween (1978) and amped it up; more blood (provided by special effects artist Tom Savini) and more fun.  I love the suspense of the "whodunit" script.  You never see the killer until almost the end, but when you finally do, it pays off.  The lore of Mrs. Voorhees and her son Jason drowning was a great set up/motive for her doing the killings.  It was also totally bad ass to see our Final Girl Alice (Adrienne King) do a nice little decapitation.  

4. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Yes, even though it is called "The Final Chapter", there were still many more sequels to come.  There are many reasons why "The Final Chapter" is a beloved sequel by fans. First off, the setup is great. We get the horny rambunctious teens, one of them being played by Crispin Glover  who come to party at Crystal Lake.  The "Crispin Glover dance" in the film makes the flick worth watching all on its own.  Meanwhile, we have a very likable family who lives near Crystal Lake. The family introduces us with Tommy Jarvis (played by Corey Feldman) and our Final Girl, Trish Jarvis (played by Kimberly Beck).  We get Jason at his best.  Slicing and dicing teens as they smoke pot and getting laid. Great sequel with blood and guts, nudity, and a kick ass Final Girl.

5. Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

This film brought some unique features to the table. First off, it was in 3D.  Lets put it this way, if you watch it in 2D on the DVD, it becomes very cheesy.  The 3D effects feel very dated and take away from the scares (and lets face it, who the hell actually likes watching a movie with those terrible red and green glasses).  But, most importantly Jason gets his iconic hockey mask in this one.  Jason himself feels really scary.  The implication that he raped the Final Girl and the fact that he looks like a man but keeps getting back up every time he gets knocked down, will sure give you the chills.  The Final Girl named Chris Higgins (played by Dana Kimmell) really went through hell and back, and is one of the most deserving of the titles of Final Girl in the entire franchise. She really kicks some ass.

6. Friday the 13th (2009)

This is where I would part the franchise into "passable" sequels.  The Friday the 13th remake is a mixed bag for me.  Things I like about the movie: 1) Jason is way more brutal than we have ever seen before.  He's bigger, faster, and just over all scarier. Not to mention the overall look of him with the "bag head" and hockey mask look way more intense 2) Sex and violence.  I'm actually surprised this didn't get an NC-17 rating.  Fans of the franchise will just love it. 3) The tunnel system. It makes it way more creepy and claustrophobic. 

Things I don't like: 1) The (semi sort of) Final Girl. This chick (played by Amanda Righetti) gets captured at the beginning of the movie and doesn't get saved by her brother until the end. 2) Having the semi sort of Final Girls brother (played by Jared Padalecki) be the main character making him a "Final Guy". 3) Amanda Righetti delivering one of the worst lines in a Horror movie: "Jason, say hi to mommy, in hell!" ROTFL

If this film could have had Danielle Panabaker, who was one of the supporting cast, be The Final Girl and had her be the main character, this could have perhaps been a great movie.  That girl has got talent and is now a prominent Scream Queen in the genre.

7. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) 

Everything about this movie is just okay. Fans feel a little cheated on this one.  Premise wise, there's not much.  Tommy Jarvis (from part 4) is at a halfway house for troubled teens...there you go.  The worst thing about this one is the terribly annoying and dumb characters. And not to mention SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!  Jason is not actually in this movie.  A copycat killer is.  We are given this (kind of lame) explanation.  However, I do really like Final Girl Pam Roberts (played by Melanie Kinnaman) in this one. But unfortunately, Tommy Jarvis steals her thunder in the final battle.  The only character worth caring about in this one was Pam, so it was really irritating to see that happen.

8. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

The best way to describe this one is "Friday the 13th" meets "Carrie".  Our Final Girl named Tina Shepard (played by Lar Park Lincoln) has telekinetic powers. Accidentally killing her father as a child with her telekinesis at Crystal Lake, Tina (now a teenager) must go back to Crystal Lake with her mother and doctor to psychologically get over it. It's an okay premise, but where the main entertainment value comes from is the teens next door. The teens are just so "late 80's" in this one, and it's great.  Jason is a complete bad ass.  Everything from his "Zombie" look to his brutal kills.  Final Girl Tina is alright. She whines a bit throughout the film, but not enough for us to dislike her.  All in all, it's a cliche 80's Slasher flick, but fans will still enjoy it.

9. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Pitting Jason Voorhees against another Slasher icon Freddy Krueger from the "A Nightmare on Elm Street" series was something all the fans wanted.  However, it wasn't executed very well. Other than Jason and Freddy, you don't give two shits about any of the characters.  They are all annoying cardboard cutouts of high school teens.  But the Final Girl, is the worst of them all. Lori Campbell (played by Monica Keena) is so whiny and obnoxious, you just want her to die. When she says "Welcome to my world bitch!" you just bust a gut laughing. Her acting is atrocious. But, this movie does have its moments. The cornfield rave where Jason is just massacring teens is quite a spectacle. Also the final battle between Freddy and Jason is so gory and bad ass, that you will find yourself re watching those scenes every time it's on TV.

10. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

This is where I would part the franchise into "sub par" sequels. Well, the title kind of misleads you a bit. Jason does in fact go to Manhattan, but most of his time is spent on a boat filled with a bunch of graduating high school teens. This one suffers from some of the same problems as "A New Beginning"; dumb, dumb, dumb characters. The Final Girl is really weak as well. Rennie Wickham (played by Jenson Daggert) is as uninteresting and bland as it gets. This film does have that retro nostalgic feel though. I do end up re watching it from time to time again. I don't know.... Not much else to say.

11. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

"Jason Goes to Hell" is outlandish even by Friday the 13th standards.  Jason is eventually defeated but his spirit must "live on" and starts going from host to host. Basically Jason's spirit possesses others to kill. The only time you get to see Jason in his "normal looking" body is at the beginning and at the end.  The film is riddled with plot holes, a terrible premise, and characters you could care less about. A character named Kari Keegan (played by Jessica Kimble) is the most forgettable Final Girl in the entire franchise. Well that's because shes hardly in it. Two good things did come from this film though. There was a scene of great meta humor referencing "smoking dope, having premarital sex, and getting slaughtered", but the surprise ending where Freddy Krueger razor blade hand  grabs Jason's mask and brings it to hell. An indication that Freddy and Jason would be in a sequel together. 

12. Jason X (2001)

Jason in space. Unless you are a die hard fan of the franchise, avoid this movie at all cost. It feels like a Syfy channel movie. The plot is so dumb, i'll just let you youtube the trailer. Cheap, and I mean really cheap looking special effects. And you know what, Sci-Fi Horror can be done. Just look at Alien (1979) for example. Oh yeah, we have Rowan(played by Lexa Doig) who is a completely forgettable and pointless Final Girl. There is one scene, however that makes me chuckle. Its another self referential scene where holographic campers ask Jason if he wants to drink, smoke pot, or have premarital sex and then they take their tops off. Jason then precedes with the already infamous "sleeping bag kill".  

-Johnny Fright